So here I am, a couple months into the adoption process, and more and more people (not close friends, just people we come in contact with) have been finding out and wanting to talk about it. That's cool. I love spreading the word about adoption. Until the person hears a little bit about where we are in the process then tilts their head and says, "You are such a good person! That baby is going to be so lucky to have you!" Yada Yada Yada, then some more of how great I apparently am.
So, obviously I know that we are the lucky ones getting this child and will be completely blessed by having her...and I try to articulate that in between showers of gratitude and expressions of my so-called greatness. AND most importantly I want any and all glory to go to God in this and not to us. But I just feel so weird when people just start going on an on about what great people we are and how wonderful it is that we are doing "this".
I am not sure how I really would like people to react when they hear about our adoption. I guess, ideally, I would want them to be instantly interested in the plight of the orphan and immediately want to do whatever necessary to help them. You know, then I could quickly respond with many resources and then we would unite in a power mission to save orphans and children in poverty everywhere!....but I live in the real world where people would rather talk about how great I apparently am instead.... Did you know that only great people can help children? no just kidding. This is all to say, I AM NOT GREAT. I am just a simple girl who loves her God and wants to serve Him in all the ways He calls me to.
If you are one of these people who do this....please don't take offense to this post. I am pretty sure I was doing this before also. I realize people are probably just inspired and excited to see ordinary people trying to make a difference. I only post this because I just feel weird when people just go on and on about me when I want it to be about how awesome God is.
So if you can relate to being put in this super awkward position or if you have any suggestions to bring the focus and glory back to where it needs to be, comment me. I see that as we progress this will be a great way to show people Christ's love, I just have overcome the weirdness of diverting people away from my awesomeness over to Christ's....
6 comments:
I totally know what you mean. Seems like the standard comment. If it's a Christian friend I have replied with something like "WE are the lucky ones" and then try to work in something about being obedient to God's call on our lives and how the whole process has grown us - even before the kids are home.
Yes, I can totally relate. In fact, I went so far as to go to a psychologist because I couldn't stand people thinking I was a good person. :)
I've learned that there's a line between being gracious (which is always important) and educating. It takes some practice but eventually you'll find it. When people start seeing your motivations for adoption they'll stop making these comments. In fact, I haven't received a comment like this in quite a while. There will always be strangers that make comments and I've found just smiling and saying "Our family is lucky." does the trick.
hi! I found your blog thru the red letters campaign. We have a 4 year old and a 5 year old from Uganda who came home in December.
Just had to throw my two cents in here.... we definitely hear these kind of comments all the time, and our kids are definitely old enough to know what they mean and the implications of hearing that they are soooooo lucky to have us and we did suchhhhh a great thing....
We have taken to saying pretty forcefully, but with a smile, "yes, we are all four lucky to have each other."
Looking forward to reading more about your adoption!
I've gotten a bit of this but not too much...yet anyway. I've had a few friends tell me how proud they are of us which I don't really like to hear. it's amazing how once your heart is ready for adoption how the language you use can change so much. i realized that i probably said these very things to other people pre-adoption.
This really bugs me too. I've really been convicted even more lately to be as authentic and real as possible during this whole process and make it all about GOD and so NOT about me. I guess we just need to point people in HIS direction! :) Thanks for your post.
I haven't really experienced this too much yet. I do get a lot of stupid questions, like, is she going to be black. Well duh!
lol. I feel ya though.
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